Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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