just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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