That's intense
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
