At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
