hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
