i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
