HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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