I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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