Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
