She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
