I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
