Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
