piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
