Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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