i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
