go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the day after is always just damage control
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
