you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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