And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
