i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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