Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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