so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
