Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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