We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
