Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
