she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
