just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize