just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
