I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
