i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
