dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
