I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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