that's an acceptable place to lick
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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