Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My dick has a subreddit
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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