Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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