I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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