2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Be still, my beating vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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