I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
