k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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