talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
