i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
