do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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