no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
