that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
