highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
