You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
