Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
where are you?
Hypothermia
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize