All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize