She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
