My room smells like vodka and shame
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
