you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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