Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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