I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
