Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
