allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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