I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
