I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
4 words: hood of his car
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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