I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
