I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
