FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
