Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
